For some reason I can't get destructive thinking out of my head. Probably because it ruled my life for a very long time.
We talked about mind chatter last week.
If you look back at the beginning of my story, I made it obvious that I didn't know how things could get any worse for me. In the summer of 1999, I developed major depression. Once I was diagnosed, all I could think about were negative things associated with depression.
How was depression going to affect my job? What would my family and friends think? Did my depression show? Was I going to have to be on psychotropic drugs all of my life? What could those drugs do to me? Get the picture!
I have mentioned before I chose to take charge of my life in the spring of 2009. The two things I stated working on right away were my health and my career. With regard to my health, I made the choice to treat my depression with natural supplements. I didn't have as clear a path when it came to my career, but I realized I had to make a change. The changed was pushed along when I got laid off from my job in July of 2009.
However, my destructive thinking continued on a grand scale. Even though the natural supplements helped me get over the depression, I still struggled. I second-guessed everything and felt as though every mistake I made or every setback I had was earth-shattering.
Here's an example. In April 2010, I had a traffic accident. It was my fault. Rather than accepting my mistake and telling myself to learn from it, I beat myself up terribly. It was all I could think about for the longest time. I'm a terrible person because I had an accident. It didn't matter traffic accidents happen to people daily. I just knew I was terrible. I just knew I was stupid.
Today, I notice something different. Those destructive thoughts don't happen as frequently. Now, I replace those thoughts with questions. I ask myself what can I learn from situations. I don't let myself go down the path of destruction.
It's actually become kind of fun. Depending on the thought or circumstance, sometimes I'll do a little chuckle inside.
I notice now I feel happier and fewer negative things happen. It's becoming much easier to accept and enjoy who I am!
It's not positive thinking. It's more related to what learn from a situation. Dani Johnson expresses it so well when she says it's not what happens, it's how we react and handle what happens.
I really notice that I'm telling myself things are OK. If I mess up, I tell myself I'll try and not do that again.
Something else Dani Johnson has taught us: I don't know. All I know is when I don't have the negative thoughts, I feel a whole lot better!
The point I'm trying to make is try asking questions. Like, what can I learn from this? What can I do to lessen the chances of it happening again? What can I do to improve?
I'm no doctor, but I now believe my constant destructive reactions to life events contributed to my depression. That and the resulting negative mind chatter where I would remind myself of previous negative experiences.
Phil Holleman spent 10 years struggling with major depression. After realizing he had the knowledge and strength to rise above the illness and stigma associated with it, he created http://www.aboldnewlife.com/ to help others who are recovering or desperately want to recover from depression. He hopes you will join him on the journey and use your inner strength to free yourself from the bondage.
He would like to give you a free special report, "7 Mistakes You Make When You Suffer From Depression." So, please visit http://www.aboldnewlife.com/.
View the original article here
