A strong and secure marriage does not develop on its own; it takes a lot of hard work and dedication by both parties to keep it healthy and alive. Being married involves sharing ideas, thoughts and feelings on a daily basis with your partner, something that isn't easy for someone who has lived alone for some time. The need to communicate effectively with each other is vital to the existence of a successful marriage.
In the early days of your new relationship, the passion was alive and romance came naturally, life was glorious and you expected it to stay that way always. Unfortunately for many it doesn't, why? The main reason is the beautiful little creatures we call our children come along. With this added facet of a married life comes new and more responsibilities, bigger house and car, child care and school fees etc. You both work harder in your respective jobs both in and outside the home to accomplish all that is needed to raise these little souls and often in the rush of life you forget about each other's needs.
This is where good communication skills are essential. Don't just listen for the verbal signs of communication from your partner crying out for some attention, but watch out for the non verbal signs as well. Both husbands and wives can feel neglected at one time or another during these busy years, and if their partner is not tuned to the signs of neglect and takes action, the results can be devastating.
Watch for body language that may indicate that something is wrong; listen not only with your ears but with your heart to the things your partner is telling you. If you have any suspicions that something is wrong, talk about it, never assume that things will get better on their own, very rarely will they.
The need to find time somewhere in your busy schedules to spend alone time with your partner can not be stress enough. It doesn't have to mean dinner at an expensive restaurant; a cup of coffee at the local café serves the purpose just as well. A weekend away is wonderful, but if finances are limited try a walk on the beach or maybe a drive down the coast for the day. The aim is to spend 1-1 time with the love of your life and connect with each other, to communicate thoughts and feelings and renew and sustain the passion you both felt in the beginning.
Marriage is a wonderful institution and worthy of the effort and dedication needed to sustain it. Learn to communicate with your partner and be truthful and honest with each other and live a wonderful life together.
Joy has been married for over 20 years and has raised 3 children and likes to write about all things that relate to women in her blog http://www.desirableu.com. Please visit and have a look around.
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